Miss Manners: I did not invite her to my party because I assumed that I would not attend and now I feel horrible

Dear Miss Manners: One of our friends is very sick. I organized a party and assumed that they could not attend, so I did not extend an invitation.

It was very presumptuous on me and I feel horrible. How can I apologize? They discovered it in part through other friends who talked about it.

Soft reader: “I feel terrible. I confused and thought you had told me that you were not available. Could you forgive me?

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Dear Miss Manners: My parents run a guest house that is fills mainly with people who consider friends. The guests often gather directly to the other side of a door that separates the rooms from the guests of ours.

When I close the door for privacy, it feels as if it were closing the door on the faces of the guests. When the door remains open, the guests often enter our rooms, without invitation, even in the middle of the dinner, and interrupt.

Is there something that I can say politely while I close the door? Or is there an educated way that I can express my discontent for unwanted interruptions?

Soft reader: Remind yourself to Miss Manners to tell the world of businesses to stop getting on the label, because they take things that everyone understood and confuse them beyond all recognition.

Yes, it is perfectly courteous to close the door when you need privacy. All you have to do is go to the door, say: “Excuse me, I’m going to close the door for a while”, and do it.

No, there is no easy way to tell someone who appears at an open door that is not welcome: at least, you will have to talk to them civilly and listen while they respond.

All this was perfectly simple until someone’s head established an “open doors policy” and told everyone that they were always available to speak, and then punished people silly sufficiently to take them seriously.

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