That horrible case of Connecticut’s stepmother and a community in shock

A sudden house fire. A DEMACTED MAN. TO Community in shock.

These are just some of the disturbing details that have emerged from Waterbury, ConnecticutWhere a woman Supposedly his captive stepson maintained For more than two decades.

Last week, Kimberly Sullivan, 56, was accused of first degree assault, second -degree kidnapping, cruelty towards people, illegal restriction in the first degree and reckless danger. The charges occurred after their 32 -year -old stepson told the detectives that a fire began at home as a means to escape. “The detectives determined that the victim had been in captivity for more than 20 years, supporting prolonged abuse, hunger, severe negligence and inhuman treatment.” Waterbury police said on a Facebook post.

Sullivan’s lawyer, Ioannis Kaloidis, told the USA Today that Sullivan is innocent.

“He has never been in trouble. He has never damaged anyone,” said Kaloidis. “She denies these accusations, and would only ask people not to rush here. We have confidence as the facts come out, she will be claimed.”

The details of the case are spooky and disturbing. They also raise an important question: how can horrors like those who claim here persist for so long without intervention? How can a situation go unnoticed that so many people can go unnoticed?

Psychologists say that, unfortunately, it is not uncommon for abuse to persist for so long. After all, the default value for many people is not to intervene and assume that everything is fine, even when things seem bad.

The accusations in this particular case, they say, point out deeper problems with the systems aimed at protecting children in this country and showing how difficult the signs of problems can be.

“The United States has a real cultural emphasis on independence, personal autonomy and privacy”, psychotherapist Philip Lewis says. “That can really get into conflict with community responsibility. You can discourage people to take measures in situations where they could feel that they are invading someone’s privacy or exceeding limits.”

Why did nobody noticed?

Abuse supposedly began when he was 11 years old. Police said the stepson was found in a “severely emaciated condition” and that he had not received medical or dental attention throughout his captivity. ABC News and NBC news Report that the stepping is 5’9 “and weighed 68 pounds when the authorities found it.

After a fire broke out in Sullivan’s house last week, the first responders found the stepson. He told the responders that he intentionally put the fire in his room above with a lighter, disinfectant for hands and paper. “I wanted my freedom,” he told the police.

The members of the Waterbury community have expressed their shock for history, with the locals they contain NBC news They had no idea that these alleged horrors were happening in their own neighborhood.

“I was right here all this time, and he was going through that suffering,” Zeffery Guarnera, from Waterbury, He told NBC Connecticut Thursday. “It’s heartbreaking. I just hope it’s fine.”

Psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis He says that it is difficult for people to accept that abuse can happen anywhere, and that anyone can be an abuser or a victim.

People may also be used to listening to horrible stories such as news, but Sarkis says it is much more difficult for them to wrap their heads around the fact that these situations can also occur in their own communities. Abusers can also be highly skilled to cover what is happening, he adds.

“Some people are very expert in covering up what they are doing, and will threaten the victim,” says Sarkis. “They will keep the victim isolated, they will not allow them any external contact.”

When people tried to intervene, the systems that should have helped the stepson failed him. The former director of the Diker said that the elementary school of the then son told the authorities that the administrators suspected that he is mistreating years ago.

“We knew. We reported it. A damn thing was not made,” said Tom Pannone, former director of the now closed of Barnard Elementary School in Waterbury WNBC. “That is the tragedy of the whole matter.”

In general, says Lewis, most people trust authorities to do their job.

“People, for better or worse, tend to trust their institutions,” says Lewis. “They hope that the application of the law, schools and social services will do their job, what most of them do incredibly well. But no human can do things 100 percent. And therefore, victims will fall through cracks.”

What signs of abuse can be

Abuse can take many forms and can be difficult to detect. Even so, it is important that people do everything possible to be attentive to it, and not be afraid to intervene if they feel that something is wrong.

Marriage and family therapist Erik Anderson He says that abuse signs can include brands and bruises in someone’s body, unexpected injuries or suspicious absences of work or school.

He adds that it is also important to remember that many abusers can put a lovely front to viewers. Seeing beyond this facade and looking for markers of things out of the ordinary, he says, is crucial.

Unfortunately, many abuse signs can only be clear in retrospect. People often feel an immense fault to miss them.

“It is normal for people to blame themselves,” says Sarkis. “It is very normal for people in the neighborhood to feel guilty and feel responsible, although it is not their fault … it is also difficult for our brains to go to that place where that would be possible.”

Contribute: Jonathan Limehouse and Amaris Encinas, USA